Daily Prompt: Lucky Star and An Old Joke

Today is your lucky day. You get three wishes. What are your three wishes and why?

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This is an old joke – it is not original but I have embellished a bit. Hopefully it’s not too risque and you will enjoy the retelling!

Years ago I was working on an island in the South Pacific. I was serving drinks in a waterfront bar. The kind of place frequented by sailors, the odd longshoreman, and bar girls looking for a few bucks. We served warm beer that we charged too much for; but the girls were friendly. Décor was simple and sturdy, strong enough to survive the fights that broke out from time to time.

One night a sailor comes in. A big guy with a barrel chest and biceps with the girth of a main mast, he was so big that he had to duck to come through the door and he took up the space of two men when he sat at the bar. Kind of an odd looking duck though, his head appeared too small. He was so large overall that it seemed out of proportion when compared to the rest of him. He drank quietly, shunning the conversation of other patrons or the girls. I think that the only words he spoke that night were to me, when he ordered his boilermakers. He made no trouble and left at closing time.

He came back the next two consecutive nights and did the same thing but he seemed to be warming up a little to Lola. Lola may or may not have been her real name, but she was a Spanish beauty who worked the dives. She had long, thick black hair; long legs; and curves in all the right places. The best thing about Lola though, was her voice; deep husky and sensuous – pure sex.

The last night I saw the sailor he came in and took up his two places at the bar, just like he had before. After a few boilermakers went down Lola sidled up next to him and whispered something in his ear. He nods his head and points at me, “drink for the lady, mate” he orders.

I nodded and poured iced tea into a highball glass. Lola never drank when she was working. I placed a straw in the glass and plopped it down in front of her. She took a sip and went straight to work. “Ohhh, you’re a big guy,” she said as she rubbed his shoulder with the palm of her hand. “Sooo strong,” she cooed, “big hands.” “Only your head is small. Why is that?”

“Do you really want to know?” he asks her and, you can see from his face that he is beginning to surrender to Lola’s considerable charms.

Lola holds his chin and looks straight into his eyes. Trying to seal the deal; she says, “Of – course – I – do.”

He signals for another boilermaker. I set it down, say, “on the house,” and linger close. I want to hear this story too.

He begun speaking softly, “We were off the coast of South America somewhere, and the ship went down in a big storm. I clung to a piece of debris for a week and thought I was a goner but, eventually washed up on a small atoll. I scavenged coconuts and managed to catch some rats and a few fish. Enough to survive on that cursed island for three months. Then one night another storm blew through. The next morning I went to comb the beach and see if anything useful had washed ashore. I found a mermaid tangled in an old net, near the broken hull of a dory boat that had come ashore too. She was clearly in trouble but, I cut her bonds and freed her.”

“She was grateful and offered to grant me three wishes. Without even thinking about it, I knew immediately what I wanted, I blurted out, ‘First, I want to be rich and never wanting.’

“’Of course,’ she said, ‘it is so’ and immediately there were piles of gold and jewels all around me. I scrambled to the top of a mound of Krugerrands. Gold and gemstones were all I could see. The island was covered with them, just like the pile I was standing on top of.”

“’Second, I need transport for me and my treasure back home,’ I told her. ’It will be done,’ she said, ‘but tell me your third wish so that I may grant it before you are gone.’”

“I am a bit embarrassed to ask, but I’ve been on this island for months. You are so beautiful, and…”

“She smiled, somewhat demurely, and glanced down, ’I understand’ she said.”

“The next thing I knew, me and my treasure were back in Massachusetts and I had this little head.”

Lola threw her head back and laughed, “Be careful what you wish for.”

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