10 May 2014

10 May 2014

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Today’s adventure with the Book Bandits – Missed ya Lisa.

The prompts are:

  1. Go ahead, what’s the worst that can happen
  2. Normal, I guess
  3. Will you take four?

 

Begin Writing
“How much do you want for that washer?” she asked.

“Five hundred dollars.”

“That seems a bit exorbitant since one of the settings is missing.  Will you take four?”

“What are you talking about? There’s no missing settings.”

“There sure is,” she shot back.  “Look at this dial.  The setting names have been worn down and one is completely missing.”

“Which one?”

“Normal, I guess.  I can make out ‘Delicate’ and ‘Heavy Duty’ so the missing one must be ‘Normal’ right?

“I’ll tell you one thing, you’re not normal.  This is a garage sale.  You buy used things here.  The machine works.  All the settings work.  I can write ‘Normal’ on the dial with a Sharpie if it helps.”

“If you’re going to graffiti the machine then I can only go three,” she said.

“Lady, if you’ll go away, I’ll let you have it for two fifty and, I’ll have my boys load it on your truck for you.”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, pursed her lips and looked like she was giving is serious consideration. “What if I get it home and it doesn’t work?” she asked.

“Bring it back,” he said, “I’ll refund your money.  Go ahead, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Well, you could move,” she said.  “Is this a garage sale or a moving sale?  What if I try to bring it back and you’ve moved out of state?  What if you move to North Dakota? I don’t want to drive all the way to North Dakota just to return a faulty washing machine.”

“It’s not faulty.” he said.

“That’s what you say. But, there’s no ‘Normal’ here.  That concerns me.”

“Lady, do you want the machine or what?”

“Of course I want the machine.  I just think one-fifty is a bit steep, price wise.  I mean, it’s not normal, it’s covered with graffiti and I might have to drive to North Dakota if there are any service issues.  I’ll give you seventy-five if you throw in a bottle of fabric softener.”

“Is Downy OK?”
Time is up. Put down your writing implements and step away from the paper.

03 May 2014

03 May 2014

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This is the second of the overdue posts.

The prompts are:

  1. The warmth of a smile
  2. The wind was kickin’ at my house
  3. Picture Prompt found on the whiteboard in the meeting room

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Begin Writing
It was windy – really windy.  The wind was kickin’ at my house pretty good.  Relentless.

Mid afternoon brought some respite from the gale so I ventured outside to see how the chickens were doing.  All but one of them was accounted for, safely tucked away in the hen house.  Only Noodle was missing.  I hoped she hadn’t blown away.

Noodle was a friendly bird.  She had assumed the role of ‘Mother Hen’ at my little egg factory. I call it an egg factory but in all honesty it was a small time operation.  I got eggs for my own consumption and enough to earn a bit of extra scratch peddling eggs to some of the neighbors.  I made enough money to buy chicken feed.  But if Noodle had been carried away by the storm it could potentially change the dynamics of the coop.  If ‘Mother Hen’ was missing it might interrupt the laying of the other birds.

I don’t have a graduate degree in chickenology gut I figured there might be a reason for me to worry.  I needed to find Noodle, no doubt about it.

I began by searching underneath and behind all the nearby bushes.  I came up empty so I broadened my search area and ventured outside the backyard fence.  There she was, in the truck patch.  Crouched between the lettuce and the radishes, sat Noodle.  She sat with a rabbit.  Was she protecting my produce? Was she keeping the pillaging bunny at bay?  Was she protecting the hare? Keeping him from being swept away by the storm?

As I pondered, the rabbit leaned over and nibbled a leaf of lettuce.  Noodle gave him a peck on the cheek and he seemed to smile.  I think Chicken Noodle had fallen in love.
Time is up. Put down your writing implements and step away from the paper.

26 April 2014

26 April 2014

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I’ve been slacking.  I’ve been remiss. I have been neglecting to transcribe my “Book Bandit” posts to this blog.  The inspiration for this blog is the writers guild.  I have no excuse.  I am going to try and catch up today.  This is the first of the overdue posts.

The prompts are:

  1. If I could, I would write this in fire
  2. They were worn and tattered
  3. Traffic lights and toenails

 

Begin Writing
I pulled to the side of the road.  The cop pulled in behind me.  I watched in the mirror as he got out of his prowl car and unsnapped the strap on his holster.

He stayed close to the side of my car as he approached the drivers side window, “License and registration,” he said with his hand close to the grip of his pistol.

I leaned to the right and took out my wallet for my Drivers License and retrieved the registration from the pocket on the visor.  I held them out the window.

“Keep your hands on the wheel where I can see them.” the officer ordered and when I complied he glanced at the documents I had surrendered.

“Councilman?” he said, “I didn’t recognize you, sir.”

“That’s because your were staying behind me officer.” I said, ” You never looked at my face.”

“I did see your face when you blew through that red light councilman but, it was mostly obscured.  You apparently had your foot in your mouth.”

I laughed and I guess at that point he realized he had just cracked a joke.  I mean, it’s funny right? A politician with his foot in his mouth.  He blushed and leaned down to the window.

“I have to write you a ticket councilman, because I already called in the stop.  They expect a ticket and there’ll be hell to pay if I don’t.”

“I understand Officer…?”

“Templeton,” he said.

“I understand Officer Templeton.”

“I’m just gonna write you up for the traffic light violation.” Officer Templeton said, “But, I gotta ask, was your foot really in your mouth?  Didn’t you see the red light?  Anybody but you Councilman and I’d be writing this ticket in fire – you’d be looking at 7 – 10 years for traffic violations.  Pretty serious stuff.”

“I’m sorry, Sargent Templeton.  It was a perfect storm.  I caught my toe on a wire hanging under the dashboard and when I looked down to free it I noticed that all my toenails were worn and tattered.  I didn’t have anything to trim them with in the car so I was biting them.” My turn to blush.

He handed me a ticket for a red light violation.  He smiled and pointed down the street, “See that strip mall?”

“I do.”

“There’s a nail care shop in every strip mall these days.  You should find the one in there and get yourself a pedicure.  It’s a lot less embarrassing, and a lot less disgusting than getting pulled over for biting your own toenails while operating a moving vehicle.”

“Thanks, Lieutenant Templeton, I think there could be a promotion in this for you.  I’ll start the paperwork first thing Monday morning.”
Time is up. Put down your writing implements and step away from the paper.

Daily Prompt: If I Ruled the World

Daily Prompt: If I Ruled the World

You’ve been given the superpower to change one law of nature. How do you use it?


 

Bill came into the house through the door from the garage to the kitchen. So, he didn’t see the cat right away. He took a little time to fix himself a sandwich and grab a diet soda from the fridge. In the dining room he saw his girls. Lindsey, 11 years old and skinny as a rail with her blonde page boy tousled, was wearing a white lab coat and goggles. She was looking towards the top of the stairs where her sister stood. Elaine was 9 and looked exactly like Lindsey, only smaller. Currently encased in a cast from mid bicep to wrist her right arm was bent slightly less than 90 degrees. She was holding it above her head. She too was wearing goggles and a lab coat.

Both girls had stopped and turned towards Bill. They both had that guilty look on their faces. That look that told him he had just walked in on them doing something that they knew they shouldn’t.

Then he saw the cat.

Mama was a tabby. A stray that had shown up on their doorstep with four kittens about three years ago. They had adopted her and her kittens but found homes for the little ones as soon as they were old enough. Mama was a gentle cat who liked nothing more than to curl up on a lap and sleep. She did not look gentle right now. Her teeth were bared, her eyes bulged out of her head, her back was arched and her claws were out. She was terrified. She was also hovering about 4 feet above the floor, suspended in mid air.

“What the heck is going on here girls?” Bill asked.

Elaine piped up first, “Science experiment, Dad.” She said.

“What have you done to Mama?”

“She’s flying,” Lindsey explained. “We invented an anti-gravity device. She’s helping us test it.”

“I don’t think she’s having much fun. Maybe you better rescue her.”

Lindsey walked over to Mama and cooing gently, to calm her, plucked her out of mid air as though picking an apple off a tree. She cradled the cat and stroked her head. Mama kitty calmed down pretty quickly. “Give me a hand Elaine,” Lindsey called up to her sister, “let’s get this off of Mama.”

Elaine rushed down the stairs and removed a small pair of scissors from the pocket of her lab coat.

“Hey, don’t run with those in your hand,” Bill admonished and then felt stupid when he realized that the entire scene was reminiscent of one of those sitcoms the girls liked to watch on TV.

Elaine used the scissors to carefully snip an elastic band that circled the cat. Then she lifted the slice of whole wheat bread that the band had held in place on Mama’s back. Lindsey set the cat on the hardwood floor where she quickly high-tailed it out of the room.

“Wanna tell me what’s been going on here?” Bill asked.

“Well,” Lindsey said. “You know how a cat always lands on her feet?”

“Yep”

“And, you know how if you butter a piece of toast and then accidentally drop it, it always lands ‘butter side down’?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, we used a rubber band to strap a slice of buttered bread to Mama’s back. Then we dropped her from the top of the stairs. She never hit the ground, Dad. You saw her, she was floating there. We defeated gravity. It was amazing.”


 

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