Daily Prompt: Worldly Encounters
The friendly, English-speaking extraterrestrial you run into outside your house is asking you to recommend the one book, movie, or song that explains what humans are all about. What do you pick?
The San Diego freeway was a parking lot. Russell was stuck – he started slowing about half an hour ago and now he hadn’t moved at all in over 15 minutes. Suddenly, as if by magic, the traffic cleared and he was rolling again. He looked for what could have caused the delay but couldn’t spot a thing. No tow trucks, no police cars, no broken glass, broken cars, or broken-off auto parts littering the freeway. It was a mystery.
He got to the job site late and explained the strange traffic pattern to Gene as he made his apologies. Gene was the site foreman and an old friend. He got a look of deep concern on his face, “Man, Russell, stay away from that part of the freeway when you head back. You know what causes shit like that don’t ya?”
“No, I don’t Gene. That’s why it was so weird. There was no discernible reason for the delay.”
Gene looked around furtively to make sure nobody was standing near enough to hear then leaned in close. “Aliens.”
“Get out! That’s ridiculous. What are you talking about?”
“Aliens man, I’m tellin’ ya. You know how you hear that aliens kidnap earthlings, take them up to the mother ship and perform all kinds of tests and experiments on them?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before but,”
“But nuthin’,” Gene interrupted. “They get those people off the freeways. Think about it man, you’re in a car. Your speed and course is predictable, you can’t run away from them. They turn their tractor beams on and suck you and your car right up into the bowels of their ship. Boom, you’re in their laboratory and they are sticking probes in all of your orifices.” He shuddered.
Russell laughed, “How does that account for weird traffic, Gene?”
“You know how you said the traffic magically cleared up?”
“They took up a whole bunch of cars at one time. Like a hundred or so. Less cars on the freeway means no traffic jam. Those mother ships are huge, dude.”
“Aw, come on Gene. Are you being serious here?”
“I’m serious as a heart attack Russell, it happened to one of Marie’s cousin’s friends. They took him up there, stuffed probes in his ears and his… well you know where. Sucked all the knowledge out of him, erased all memory of the event and then sent him back. They know about every movie he’s ever seen, every book he’s ever read, every person he’s ever met. They know all about him man.”
“How do you know this happened if they erased all memory of it having occurred?”
“I don’t know dude. I’m just tellin’ it like I heard it. And, that explains the traffic jam in the first place too, doesn’t it?”
“How do you figure that, Gene?”
“What do you think is going to happen when you put about a hundred cars back on the freeway all at once, dude? I’ll tell ya what. Gridlock, that’s what!”
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