“I got lots of photos here. Let’s see what I can find. You need this for a school project on genealogy? You need a picture of an ancestor, huh? Let’s look in this box.
“Wow, check this out! I had forgotten all about this. This is a photo of your great gramma, my gramma, in Afghanistan; this must have been taken in the 1970’s. Gramma was a teller at a bank in Oklahoma. You can’t really tell from this shot but she was a petite lady. Very tiny, my memory is that she was about 5’2” and she might have weighed 105 pounds.
“See her bandolier and Kalashnikov, she probably captured that weapon. Gramma would save up all year long and then for her vacation, she would fly to Afghanistan so that she could lob mortars at Russian forts with the Mujahedin. Times were different then but damn, that lady knew how to have a good time. I’ll always remember her with a big cigar and a bottle of whiskey. She was always pouring shots, even for me a time or two, when my dad wasn’t paying attention. She was a big gardener too – loved to grow poppies.
“Speaking of my dad look, here’s a picture of him. Yeah, he’s in costume. He was quite the entertainer you know. Worked Vegas for awhile but the show never took off so he eventually came back to Kansas. That man never got out of character after he came back. He lived out the rest of his life as Marilyn. Was good at it too; he could be in full makeup with heels and a tight skirt in less than 15 minutes every morning. Hell, it takes you kids longer than that to get ready for school. Quite the entertainer he was. Mr. Goodson who lived next door went to his grave thinking that Dad was a lady. Used to flirt shamelessly but Dad never led him on, no sir. Dad was a proper lady.
“This one, now this one is a shot of my mother. This is the last picture she ever posed for, and the only one I have of her. Dad told me he took this about two hours before the accident. Look how young she was. Look at the haunted look in her eyes. I can’t let you take this one to school as it’s the only one I have of Mom.
“Here’s one that might be good for you to take though. This is me and your mother. We’re on a fishing boat off the coast of Mexico. She’s got a big tuna on the line there. Look how excited I am about it.
“That night she ran off with the captain of the boat and his crew. They cleaned and filleted the fish before they left though, that was nice of them. Word was that she became a pirate. I believe it too. Used to be, from time to time that there would be deposits of pesos in my bank account, I think it was her way of taking care of you kids. Haven’t been any lately though, I think something might have happened.
“Go ahead; take this picture of me and your mom. Bring it back though and if anybody asks don’t tell them that stuff about pirates.”
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