Whenever I see rain, I hear the Hueys again.
Always, when the rotor spins, you hear the staccato whap, whap, whap of the blades slicing the air. It’s different during the monsoons though, more real; as the twin blades bisect the raindrops.
tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
A place filled with mostly unfinished stories. Begun primarily as a direct result of my association with the OC Writer's Guild
Whenever I see rain, I hear the Hueys again.
Always, when the rotor spins, you hear the staccato whap, whap, whap of the blades slicing the air. It’s different during the monsoons though, more real; as the twin blades bisect the raindrops.
How remarkably evocative in so few words!
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I love your word pictures.
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Wow. You took me there. Awesome imagery!
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Great sounds and visuals. I can see the blades slicing through the thick rain.
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Love the poetry in this – the rhythm and sounds are very strong. And the cutting the raindrops line – fantastic.
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Strong imagery, both visual and aural.
One point – I think Huey’s should be Hueys (plural rather than possessive).
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Thanks Cyn. You’re absolutely right. I fixed it!
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I loved your combination of concrete imagery and details imagined in a flashback.
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What a memory, so crisp and clear in the mind. I liked this!
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Very evocative imagery. Although, I wonder, was the ‘staccato’ required? I thought ‘whap, whap, whap’ did a pretty good onomatopoeic job by themselves 🙂 Loved the direction you took the prompt!
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Wonderful! I could hear the difference between the regular rain and the monsoons, as though the narrator almost re-focused or changed his mood. There’s a lot in those few words.
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This got the hair standing on the back of my neck. Puts a whole different perspective on the prompt.
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A unique take on the prompt, congrats 🙂
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Maybe a helicopter can take the ice bucket challenge.
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That last image is so intricate, Thom. I almost need a microscope. Amazing that the range of your gargleblaster goes from a helicopter in the sky to a water droplet being cut in half.
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I like how you zoom in from the enormous-and-abstract (memory of war) down to the miniscule-yet-tangible (raindrops). It’s a great shift in perspective. Really nice job, Thom.
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Bisecting raindrops- nice! You gave the ‘whap, whap, whap’ of the helicopters depth with this piece.
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The rhythm of your words conveys the staccato whapping of the rotors and the bisecting raindrops so well. Well done!
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This is amazing. I could hear that whap, whap, whap of the helicopters.
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Great post! Love the use of onomonopia here and how you incorporated the photo.
The title was intriguing to me because when I read the prompt, I also wrote about Southeast Asia, but in a different context.
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I like how you’ve stretched a bit here into different territory (or maybe I just haven’t been reading your work long enough…). Great job tackling both the prompt and this week’s lesson. It worked.
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Fantastic job Thom! I love the whop, whop and I love how you go from mega to mini in so few words! I love how you incorporate both action and the prompt. Genius!
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