Paying Too Much for Stolen Stationery He Planned to Donate

school-supplies-300x187“He waited for an hour.”


He waited for an hour. The line still had not moved so he put half the composition books into his messenger bag. That would teach them.

Another hour passed and the rest of the composition books went into his bag as well. He still couldn’t see the checkout counter.

He looked at the lady standing behind him in line. Mercifully two of her noisy brood had fallen asleep in the shopping cart. The third, her youngest was quiet now, but was still swinging from her hair, his face red from a prior bout of screaming.

Reaching back into his bag, he produced a cookie, “Is it OK for him to have this?” he asked and held it out when she nodded assent.

“Thanks,” she said as she sat the boy in the cart with his bikkie.

His bag then produced a bottle of water which he offered to her.

She took it, drank. She said, “You’re like Felix the Cat.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You know, Felix and his bag of tricks. What else do you have in there?”

“A bunch of composition books I’m planning to steal.” he said. “They have ‘em on sale; ten for a dollar. I’ve got about four dollars worth. But, if this line doesn’t start moving soon I’m going to have some pens, pencils, paint brushes, scissors, rulers and slate boards as well. Along with some other miscellaneous stationery supplies that I plan to donate to the school. If I have to wait here much longer, I’m going to wet my pants.”

She nodded at her youngest. He was sitting in the cart with his cookie sticking out of his mouth. His eyes were at half mast and a large wet stain was getting larger on the front of his trousers. “Looks like Malcolm beat you to it.” she said.

Wordlessly he stuffed the rest of his intended purchases into his bag. He grabbed a box of envelopes and a pen off the shelf near to where they were standing. He carefully extracted a single envelope and dug in his hip pocket. He was dancing a little bit as he peeled a fifty dollar bill from his money clip and sealed it in the envelope.  He wrote:

Manager, Staples, Soquel Ave. Live Oak

“Have a nice day.” he said to the mom who had been toughing it out with him in the line and he walked away, making a bee line towards the exit.

“See ya later, Felix. Thanks.” She said to his back as he walked away.

He stopped briefly by the frantic cashier. Handing her the envelope he asked, “Can you give this to the manager?”

“Yeah sure,” she stuck it under the counter to deal with later.

He left. As he passed through the door an alarm sounded and he took off running down Chanticleer. He must have really had to pee. He ducked onto the grounds of the assisted living center and headed towards the back. He must have jumped the fence into the creek bed beyond. No one saw him again that day. He might have gone north towards the mountains or south towards the beach.


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24 thoughts on “Paying Too Much for Stolen Stationery He Planned to Donate

  1. So far only the second without dead people involved in any way, thank you for keeping my hopes up… maybe humanity can still be saved!
    Thanks for the funny story, I like how because he was so frustrated he ended up taking more stuff and paying 50$ instead of 4! I wish I got robbed by this guy :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was in New York a lotta years ago and got mugged by two guys in the wrong business. They took one look at my watch and gave it back. Then one of them pulled a 20 dollar bill out of his pocket and gave it to me too. “You probably need this worse than I do.” he said.
      I’m glad you liked the story. I gladder that you thought it was funny! I’m gladdest that you took the time to tell me so.

      Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well your last comment struck me and it’s true that I don’t comment that often so I’m trying to be more invested 🙂
        Fun story! New York is such a magical place, anything can happen :p

        Liked by 1 person

    • Indeed it is a long wait. Know that while I do not condone thievery, I can sometimes understand it. Thanks for the read and the comment. I like to be read!

      Like

  2. Imagine being chased by security because you need to go, and then having to run away into oblivion, just for the sake of some stationary, which he wanted to give away anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, Nate nailed it. He always does. He’s really good at that.
      But enough about Nate – Thanks to you Suzanne. I am really glad that you liked this one!

      Like

  3. I love your sense of humor. It especially comes out in this piece. If only things were free, like pizza when delivery is late.

    Like

  4. What a nice easy-going read that made me smile. I liked the theft with an envelope for the manager. very cool –

    Like

  5. Meg, what did we learn from Felix this week? If it’s late, you are justified to plan on stealing it even if you don’t actually steal it!
    Thanks so much.

    Like

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