Speakeasy · writing

You & Me

I sit on the couch with my head in my hands.
Unnoticed, my cigarette falls from the souvenir ashtray,
slowly scarring the top of the veneered coffee table.

That’s knocking!
I stop pouring, rush to the door.
It must be you.
You’ve come back.

It’s not you at all though, it’s just the rain.
I return to my brown liquor. I return, to wallow in self-pity.

Three times I pull the door open.
Three times I rush to gather you into my arms.
Three times I am fooled by the rain and so;
3 times I crawl slowly… slowly back to the whiskey.

It’s late, after midnight.
I hear the rain at the door and ignore it.
I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t be fooled again.

It’s not knocking
it’s just the rain.

There is no answer at the door.
It’s two steps down from the stoop – to the pavement.
Your cab is waiting, engine idling softly.
The rain falling in front of the headlights is liquid fire.
In the cab you wipe your face, you wipe your eyes.

It’s not tears
it’s just the rain.

16 thoughts on “You & Me

    1. There are usually at least two sides to every story, sometimes more. I thought it incumbent of me to present more than one perspective. Maybe next time I’ll toss in the Cabbie’s view?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yup, sounds good. Once I had thought of writing something like that, but was worried that one point of view may read better than the other. I am curious to see what you come up with.


  1. Oh, that’s just brutal, the running to the door, hope overriding logic, just to find nothing. I think both perspectives worked really well together, the shortness of You closing it with finality. I would, however, love to read the cabbies POV 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the dual presentation of “me” and “you,” but wonder what it would be like if both were told from first person POV. Something to think about. Really nice to see you stretching in different directions with your writing, Thom. I need to do this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like your idea of dual first person. I could couple this with the cabbie’s perspective as well.
      Might be good! Thanks for the idea Meg. Mind if I play with it?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love how you’ve given two perspectives on the same scene. Such a powerful device. It conveys so well the miscommunication, the different perspectives. I agree with Meg, it would be really interesting to see them both from the same POV.

    You’ve done a marvellous job in conveying his distress — and generated some distress in the reader to boot! I love-hate that he goes to the door three times more and has his hopes dashed, then just passes it off as the rain from that point on. I want him so badly to just open the door one more time.

    Liked by 1 person

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