Yeah, OK, so, I lost my bra



The ringing of the bell was incessant. Antonia parted the blinds and peeked out into the square. It looked like Myra was standing under the gazebo ringing the shit out of the town bell. People were starting to gather.

“I better get down there,” Antonia said to Harold, who wasn’t listening anyway. He was watching ‘Full House’ reruns on the TV channel. “Appears that Myra is up to something, I better get down there before she embarrasses herself again.”

Harold laughed at the TV while Antonia grabbed her purse and headed out the door, making a beeline to the town square.


The ringing was getting more insistent when Antonia mounted the steps of the gazebo and grabbed Myra’s arm to stop the ringing.

“Myra, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m summoning the town, of course. Let go of my arm.”

“Wait a minute Myra, what’s wrong?”

“I’ve lost my bra.” Myra said, “And I need to find it.”

“You don’t need the whole damn town for that. Let’s think about this for a minute.” She led her distraught friend to one of the picnic tables where they sat and watched the small crowd disperse. “Have you checked with Saul Perkins?”

“Of course, that’s the first thing I did… What do you know about me and Saul?”

“Jesus, Myra – the whole town knows about you and Saul.”

“They do? Oh my. We were so discreet.”

“You weren’t that discreet. You look really good today Myra, younger, I think.”

“You think so? That’s nice. Saul even checked under the bed. It’s not at his house.”

“Maybe it’s just in your hamper then. Did you look there?”

I looked in the hamper; I looked in both the washer and the dryer. I even looked behind the washer and the dryer. It’s nowhere. It’s my nice one too. The red lacy one, the push-up one.”

“Myra, are you using a new cream? There are almost no wrinkles or lines in your face. Your skin is so smooth. You look so much younger!”

“No, huh uh, just my same old lotion. Do you think my bra might have entered another dimension? A time warp? You know, maybe the temperature in the dryer and the speed of the drum rotation sent it into the future? Or into a parallel universe?” Myra was starting to rant.

Antonia took Myra’s hand and helped her up, “Let’s go to my house and have a cuppa tea, shall we.” Then we’ll go to the dry goods store and get you a new bra.” They made their way across the street and upstairs.

“Harold,” Antonia sang out to her inattentive husband, “Myra’s here for a cup of tea. We plan on taking over the world, then we’re going to go shopping.” There was no response; Harold just chuckled at the TV again.

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