08/01/2016 – tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

There once was a girl from Eugene
Who washed her brassiere in the stream
She scrubbed it all day
And it floated away
But she really just wanted it clean.

Ring, ring
“14^th precinct”
“Oh, hello – I need to report some missing unmentionables.”
“You gotta give me more than that or I can’t help you.”
“But they’re unmentionables, and, and… I’m a lady.”
“And, I’m a cop. But, I can’t put out an APB without a description.”
“Oh, OK, I understand. White, B cup, with an underwire, and lace trim.”
“Oh… Sorry. We got some lady cops here. Would this be easier if I transferred you?”
“Yes, please.”
“Hold on, I’ll transfer you to ‘Property Crimes’ and you wanna ask for officer Maldonado. OK?”
“OK, Thanks.”

Once a randy young man from Torquay
Tried to lead a young lady astray.
He got her quite drunk
She passed out in her bunk
So he stole all her best lingerie.

And, he wore it to work the next day.
At a restaurant down by the bay.
Till Old Bill came and took him away.

The challenge from Ms Rose at The Blog Propellant was to write about a missing bra. You can see the brief here. I have done this one before but I was reminded that there is no rule specifying that I would be disqualified for submitting more than once.

Flash was suggested (50 – 100 words). My story is 97.

Long was also suggested. I ignored that this time.

Limerick was mentioned. I wrote two (sort of) and, Limericks should be on the bawdy side. Right? Right?

Daily Prompt; Daily Prompts Return to The Daily Post!
Write about the most precious thing you’ve ever lost.

In my life I know I’ve lost a thing or two
I’ve lost coffee cups, jobs, and hockey games

Lost my mind.

Lost my shoes.

Lost track of what I was doing.

Once I lost some underclothes in my girlfriend’s mother’s car.
I hope she never found them.

I lost money in real estate. It was the recession of ‘08
I’ve lost luggage, reservations, my faith, and my way

I’ve lost keys.

Lost jewelry.

And lost a memory or two.

I lost track of lots of old friends from school and submarines.
Facebook helps with that, a little, I guess.

I once had a box of crayons. The one with sixty-four.
I tried to wear them all down equally but the “Pink” never got smaller or lost its point.

Cerulean Blue, my favorite, went missing.

I worried for two days.

I accused my sisters of taking it.

Which they, of course, denied but, my creativity suffered. Don’t ever lose your favorite colour!
I took up smoking and hanging out with a rough crowd. Just look at me now. I’m a mess.