A good part of my adult life was spent working for The Firm. I didn’t drive fast cars, assassinate despots, or steal state secrets. I was more of an indoors type. I would sit in a building on the outskirts of some small, usually European town, surrounded by radio equipment, video equipment, and other electronic gizmos. My job was to monitor things. I was more of an “Electronic Spy” than a “Physical Spy”. I listened, watched, and reported.
I’ve retired now and it took me awhile to figure out what to do with my golden years. I have no family. No wife, no children. I have lots of money and speak seven languages pretty fluently. I tried arts and crafts but I can’t even draw a straight line, and don’t even get me started about the hazards of decoupage. It didn’t take long for me to donate my brushes, paints and other supplies to the VA center in the city.
Farming was the next thing on my list but that didn’t work out too well either. My career had been relatively sedentary. I sat around a lot. Farming is hard work for which I was woefully unprepared. I kept the acreage but the land sits fallow, with the exception of about ten acres along the road that I lease to Mr. Coates. He grows stuff there and it makes the property look like an active farm; from the road at least, if you don’t look too hard or too carefully.
I tried working at a repair shop in the city. I can fix almost anything electronic but it’s hard to get excited about repairing a vacuum cleaner or a stereo when you’re accustomed to working on non-linear RF spectrum analyzers and the like. So I got bored and just quit going to work. They called a couple of times but I simply didn’t pick up. Eventually they quit trying.
I think I’ve found my niche now though. I added a shop behind the house and I’ve begun to tint glass. Not like the tinted glass windows on cars but small fine optics I grind the lenses and darken the glass. Grinding the lenses is the easy work; getting the tint right is the challenge. I’m darkening these things up in order to make it safe for the user to view a solar eclipse. I find that the sales are somewhat seasonal and tend to follow the occurrences of events but the demand is high enough during those times that it keeps me busy in my shop all year round. I stockpile inventory and business is good. I’m thinking of taking on an assistant.
Ideally I would like to find someone close to me in age who spoke Sami, Vepsian, Udmurt, Frisian, and Rumantsch but I recognize that is a pretty tall order so I would settle for just Frisian, such a beautiful language.
I would be willing to train the appropriate candidate in the finer points of grinding lenses and tinting eclipse glass. Tools, room and board, along with a generous stipend, will be provided. If you think you’re up for the challenge fax me a resume at (123) 555-3690. Include a recent photo.