OLWG · writing

OLWG #12 – Snug Harbour

OLWG #12

…There is the sound of wind and the ding of the bell hung on the top of the door. The door blows open, pulling into the room; a short rotund man, of indeterminate age, with an overcoat, scarf, gloves, and a fedora. His name is Simon. The sound of Grand Funk Railroad plays softly (yes softly) from the juke box.



Establishing shot pans the camera around a small neighborhood bar. There are three tables in the center of the room and a dark hallway leading to the back. The implication is that the hallway leads to the toilets, maybe a payphone and access to the back car park. A row of four booths hugs the left wall and, a long bar stretches from the front to the back of the room along the wall opposite the booths. An emaciated old guy, with wildly curling grey hair, washes glasses behind the bar. His name is Pat. An old juke box, with neon lights sits in the nook between the end of the bar and the front wall. A faint glow comes through the frosted glass window to the street. SNUG HARBOUR LOUNGE can be read backwards through the window glass. A single customer sits alone at the bar. A dark man with his hair parted in the center. Half a bottle of whiskey, a smudged glass, and a full ashtray sit in front of him. His name is Richard. Simon is across the room near the door. He’s busy removing his winter attire and hanging his coat from a hook near the door.


So, you finally made it eh? I had about given up on you. What took so long?

(Spoken without looking up, terse, slightly annoyed, delivered while pouring another drink in the glass)


Richard, sorry I’m late… traffic sucked, Genny and the kids didn’t want to leave. Then they wouldn’t shut up all the way back across town. “Naa, naa, naa… nah, nah; are we there yet? I gotta go to the bathroom! Make him stop touching me!” I wasn’t sure I’d get here at all.

(He looks at the bartender) Hey, Pat.

Simon makes his way across the open floor and sits near Richard, with one stool separating the two men:


So what was it again? Your nephew’s Bar Mitzvah, or something? Why the hell would you want to go to an event like that?

(Dragging his thumbnail across a match head and lighting another cigarette)



Hey! Come on Richard, it’s an important time in a young man’s life. I gotta admit though, I don’t understand these kids today. They’d rather disco dance than throw up and hallucinate.  Times have really changed from when we was kids.



Pat, can you get me a whiskey, neat?

(Pat slides an empty glass down the bar)

Camera pulls back to bird’s eye view looking down from the center of the room. The two friends are visible in the center of the shot and Pat is just inside the frame to the left, behind the bar. Dark wood and glass shelving, loaded with bottles, are visible behind Pat at the top of the screen.

Simon pours a shot of whiskey into his glass and drinks it down. He reaches into his suit coat and removes a package, wrapped in plain paper. He tosses it on the bar in front of Richard.


Is it all here?
(Nonchalantly, he picks up the package, hefting it in his hand before tearing the end open and, riffing a stack of blue and green banknotes)

Pat slowly reaches below the bar and pulls up a shotgun, he fires at Richard, who falls back, onto the floor, dead. Pat points his gun at Simon.


Just leave that package, Sime. You’d best scram before the coppers get here. Someone’s bound to have heard that shot and called it in.
(matter of fact)

Keeping his eyes on Pat, Simon reaches down and removes a silver handgun from Richard’s shoulder holster. He backs slowly away from the body and the bar, keeping the pistol trained on the old bartender. He collects his winter clothes and smiles, then he tucks the pistol in his waistband, at the back.


So long Pat. I owe ya for this one.
(He turns, opens the door and goes back out into the snow)



Got all three of them in. It was written in 25 minutes, but I spent almost an hour after that to format, edit and correct. Oh well. Too much fun!

The prompts this week were:

  1. Are we there yet?
  2. These kids today
  3. Scram



5 thoughts on “OLWG #12 – Snug Harbour

  1. That was impressive! I have never written in this format and doubt that I could. But you pulled it off without a hitch. I never even noticed the use of the prompts it was done so well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well now, we know who the friends are.
    Always fun when there’s and unexpected twist.
    I wonder if Pat used some of the funds to pay off who ever comes looking into the ‘shot’.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.