OLWG#70- Prince Packard of the Kingdom of Hoi Polloi

Flash fiction written for OLWG#70



Prince Preston set his Daughter, Princess Imogen, on the saddle in front of him. “Today’s a big day for you, Immy,” he said, “Today we set out on a quest for the monsters. I need to introduce you to them one by one, just as my father did for me when I was your age.”

“Monster’s, Dad? Should I be frightened?”

“Not at all, Princess for the most part, the monsters are our friends. They protect our kingdom from foreign invaders and ensure that the press reports only the truth, as we define it.”

The pair set off with a full entourage including; soldiers, cooks, nannies, cartographers, fools, and other consorts. Prince Parson’s plan was to head North first, then work around in an anti-clockwise direction. He would introduce Imogen to each of the monsters who patrolled the perimeters of the kingdom.

These included Persephone to the North, Germsnake in the West, Trancemouth in the South, and The Donald. The Donald who is ‘Keeper of the Eastern Purlieus of the Kingdom of Hoi Polloi.’ During the journey, Prince Presley regaled Imogen with tales and stories of the monsters.

“I expect that first, we will encounter Persophone,” he told her, “She is a dreadful and terrifying green-skinned being, but she has a gentle soul. Most imposing, she is taller than a tree, and when opening her mouth to roar she reveals hundreds of long razor sharp teeth used to slice our enemies to ribbons. It’s been aeons since anyone attempted to invade Hoi Polloi from the north. She likes kittens and could eat six score in a single bite. She’ll like you, I’m certain,” and she did. Persophone and Imogen got along famously and even built a treehouse where they could take tea.

“Next we will find Germsnake, in the west. When I was a lad, I used to sneak away from the castle. I would come to play with Germsnake. He has always been my favourite. As his name implies, he is a serpent. A five headed serpent whose bite is laced with deadly venom and whose scales are coloured a mottled brown and ecru. I would trust him with my life. I would trust him with your life. In the wars of Oh-Four, I watched him single-handedly repel 10,000 invaders from what used to be the Kingdom of Texas that lay along our Western border, but after Oh-Four Texas was annexed by Hoi Polloi.”

Germsnake was smitten by the princess and immediately asked her father, Prince Pomeroy, for her hand in marriage; but the prince said that she was too young. Germsnake vowed to try again in a few years.

“Trancemouth is the third monster who guards the Southern frontier. She is a vixen, a beautiful maiden with coffee coloured skin who used to lure sailors onto the rocks before coming to work for my father, King Kenny the Just. She can hypnotize our enemies with the sound of her voice and tell stories to entrance all listeners. She reasons with invaders and convinces them of the folly of war with Hoi Polloi. She is also fond of fruitcake. In fact, last year she presented your mother and me with a very large rum soaked fruitcake for our Christmas.”

“We never ate that cake, Da.” Princess Imogen pointed out.

“Right you are, girl,” he answered her as he poked the dimple that was centred in her chin. “And, we never will. Fruitcake is vile and disgusting. We will regift that this Christmas.”

After a polite and cordial visit, Pumpernickel and Imogen left the company of Trancemouth and headed towards the East to meet The Donald.

As they travelled Pantomine told his daughter about the final monster, “The Donald is the most frightening of all the monsters. He surrounds himself with minions who do his bidding and praise him. He is covered with an orange outer wrapping, that one must suppose is skin, and has hair that even wise men are unable to explain. He cannot be trusted, but he can be bought. He is the one to whom we will regift the fruitcake because he likes that kind of stuff. It will keep him in our camp for another year, but I have no idea how we will be able to keep him after that. I shudder to think of what might happen if he decided to revolt. Then I remember the other three faithful monsters. They who served my father and me and seem to posses a genuine affection for you. I believe that, if necessary, the good people of Hoi Polloi, our three trusted protectors, and our armies could defeat him; but it would not be an easy battle. Never allow yourself to be caught alone in the company of The Donald.”


This week’s prompts were:

  1. we are protected by the monsters
  2. regift that
  3. large spots on casino dice

 

 

7 thoughts on “OLWG#70- Prince Packard of the Kingdom of Hoi Polloi

  1. Prince Several Names (let’s just call him Vegas. Oh, wait, that was the other prompt) seems to have the perfect defences against The Donald. In fact, I’ve not read a better political analysis or heard a better pundit in regards to The Donald. I think you and Several Names should hit the Sunday morning TV news circuit. Very fun read!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A very clever and enchanting piece. If only that fruitcake could be used as a weapon to knock out ‘The Don…’ I’d show this around – but unfortunately there are some around these parts who are (cough) who think, well – I’ve said enough.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Are we really any different than ages ago? Perhaps just because the ‘News’ travels quicker. Some ‘bird speech’ is just hollow scratch.
        Sad that some adults can’t grow up. I know that we should keep our inner child alive, but when you are responsible for others….

        Liked by 1 person

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