“So, it’s not protected, registered, land-marked, or otherwise notable in any way?” I asked.
The representative from the county planning department pushed her glasses up on her nose, “No sir, it’s not. Some of the kids around here refer to it as ‘the haunted house’ and dare each other to approach on Halloween. Some of the older kids will drive up there on Friday nights, after a school dance and park. But, it’s really not safe. It should have been red-tagged years ago.”
“Why wasn’t it then? Miss, I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”
“Hughes, Dana Hughes.”
“Why wasn’t it then Miss Hughes?”
“I’m not sure sir.”
“Can I get permits to knock it all down then?”
“Of course, without a problem.”
“What does this county need Miss Hughes?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I want to know what you think this county needs Miss Hughes.” I repeated. “I have this place and I want to know what to do with it. What is this county lacking? Do we need a library? A golf course or an airport? Maybe a factory outlet strip mall, a skate park? A camp ground? What do we need?”
“Honestly sir, it’s too far out of town to make an effective site for a library. Golf is a stupid game and an airport would require a bureaucracy bigger than we could support. I think we need a road house.”
It was my turn now, “I beg your pardon?”
“You know, a Honkey-Tonk, a clapboard or shingled building with a long bar and a stage for loud country music, a Mecca for loose women, and rough men, preferably with a dimly lit gravel parking lot. The kind of a parking lot where a person can throw up next to her truck before she weaves home drunk, in the early hours of the morning.”
“Really?” I asked; eyes wide.
“No, not really,” she smiled, “I was just kidding.”
“Do you honestly think golf is stupid?”
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