Light and Shade Challenge: What’s the Law Like in This Town?

Light and Shade Challenge Monday 26th May 2014

 

Two prompts. A photo and a quote.

Image courtesy of wax115 on rgbstock.com

The photo was lovely. A boot. I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t do anything with it.

The quote:

Anyone breaking these rules will be loved and forgiven in the usual manner
.     From part of a sign in a shop in York, UK

 Author’s note: I love England. I love London. I love York. I love San Francisco. What you are about to read is fiction and does not reflect the opinions of the author. What you are about to read is what “Al” thinks. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead is accidental. Al and Carmen are figments of my imagination.


 

I ain’t never going back to England
Too much sweetness ‘n nice.

We was in London, havin’ tea and bread
We’d been there for about a week.

I leaned over to Carmen and I said to her
I said to her, “Jesus, Carmen, don’t it make ya crazy?”

She says to me “What’s that Al”
“Ever’body is so fuckin’ nice here. That’s what.”

You know what she says? She says “I dunno, I kinda like it”
We were in some fancy hotel restaurant.

Drinkin’ tea
Eatin’ some kinda hard biscuits with cream. I didn’t feel alive.

I needed some conflict. I needed some chaos. I needed to mix it up
I stood up right then, and I made a beeline towards a waiter holdin’ a big tray over his head.

Filled with glasses and plates and food
I put my shoulder down and clipped him as we passed between tables.

Broken dishes, fish, chicken, and cutlery flew ever’where. All over the restaurant
Lots a noise and that waiter landed hard on his ass. It was beautiful.

I knew he was gonna be angry
I knew he was gonna jump up and lay into me. I craved it.

You know what he did
He apologized.

Yeah, that’s right
He apologized.

Like it was his fault I took a run at him
What a pussy.

It’s this city, I figgered
We gotta get out of London.

Next morning – me, Carmen, and the boys took a train to York
I figgered it’d be like New York ya know. Namesakes and all that.

Gritty and hard. With an edge
I needed that.

I was excited when the train approached the station
I wanted bookies, junkies, whores, and street fights.

I wanted to get my hands dirty
You know what I got?

In the station there was a sign over the platform
Said, “The City of York Welcomes You”

How fuckin’ ‘touchy/feely’ is that
I almost puked. I could get this shit in San Francisco.

We got a taxi outside the station
The hack looked a little punchy.

Like he’d gone a few rounds in his day, so I said to him
I said, “What’s the law like in this town?”

He says to me “We got some tough coppers here
They don’t tolerate law breakers.

“Anyone breaking the law in York will be taken in,
They’ll be loved and forgiven.

“Cuz that’s the way we do things here
That’s the way we are in York”

Fuckin’ English
Too damned civilized. I ain’t never going back.