…There is no warning rattle at the door. It swings silently inward. Someone passes through and quietly shuts the door behind them. Sam lights a match illuminating his own face and startling the intruder. It’s Carlotta. Sam turns on the desk lamp.
ACT II
INT, SAMS OFFICE, NIGHT
Establishing shot shows a bird’s eye view of a cluttered desk in a cluttered office it is clear that they are in a building of many similar offices, the door is closed but a faint glow comes from the lighted hallway through the frosted panel, the transom is open. INVESTIGATIONS can be read backwards through the window glass. Sam sits at his desk, with half a bottle of whiskey, a smudged glass, and a full ashtray. Carlotta is across the office near the door. She is holding a handgun at her side.
SAM:
So it’s you, Doll. I thought it might be. What are you doing here?
(monotone, terse, tough-guy delivery spoken while lighting a cigarette)CARLOTTA:
Sam, you startled me. I didn’t think you’d be… well, I thought…
I confess, I’m here looking for the Maltese Cockatiel.
(clearly flustered)CLOSE UP CARLOTTA:
CARLOTTA:
I know you got it off the ship, Sam, and I need it. The money that bird represents can solve a lot of problems. I haven’t lived a good life. I’ve been bad, worse than you could ever believe.
(pointing the pistol at Sam, threatening)SAM FROM CARLOTTA’S PERSPECTIVE
SAM:
You know, it’s good that you’ve been bad, because if you actually were as good as you pretend to be, there’d be no future for us. I don’t meet a lot of nice dames in my line of work and I’d like to get to know you better but, I don’t have the bird. Sorry, Doll.
(shaking out his match and blowing smoke into the air, nonchalant)CARLOTTA FROM SAM’S PERSPECTIVE
CARLOTTA:
This isn’t about us Sam. We’ll never get anywhere. We can never be ‘us’ – all because of that cursed, jewel encrusted Cockatiel . That million dollar bird.
(remorseful, hurt, pistol drops back to her side)Camera pulls back to bird’s eye view looking down from behind Sam’s desk. The door is visible behind Carlotta at the top of the screen. Sam pours a shot of whiskey into the dirty glass and drinks it down. He opens the desk drawer and removes his pistol, keeping it low. The door bursts open and a large, overweight man steps in with a gun. Carlotta quickly hides her pistol behind her back.
FAT MAN:
I want the Cockatiel.
(menacingly, moving the gun back and forth between Sam and Carlotta)Carlotta brings her gun around quickly and fires once at the fat man, he falls back, into the hallway, dead. Sam sets his gun on the desk and gets up to comfort Carlotta who’s broken down with the death of the fat man. Sam kisses her deeply. She kisses him back.
SAM:
Now that the fat man’s dead we’ll never find the Cockatiel . He was our best lead. Whatever he knew he’s taken to the grave.
(matter of fact)Carlotta breaks away from Sam’s embrace, rushes out of the office down the hall. Sam shuts the door, returns to his desk and pours another two fingers of whiskey into the glass. Reaching down and opening the bottom drawer he removes a cloth covered bundle, about the size of a football, unwraps it and sets the Maltese Cockatiel on the desk, next to his broken heart.
SAM:
So long doll. We coulda made beautiful music together.
(tough guy again, lighting another smoke, shaking the match out slowly while staring wistfully at the door)
FADE TO BLACK – QUE DRAMATIC/SPOOKY MUSIC – ROLL CREDITS
If the speakeasy is open you can click the badge, above, and see what this is all about. There are only 40 seats at the bar but if you hurry you might get one!
Nice take on the prompt. I like how you made it into a play. Loved the storyline!
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My first shot at a play. I’ve never done this before so, some research was done to get the proper formatting down. The result is a short story with a lot of overhead, and when dealing with a word count limitation this doesn’t leave a lot of room for character development and such. I had fun but I probably won’t do it again for a yeah write challenge. Glad you liked it though. Thanks
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I would never have known that this was your first shot. I thought it was your niche. 🙂
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I love that you took that risk. I also love that you did research. I think this is great. I’ve never written a play before either. The thought of it is overwhelming to me. Nice work.
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I love the irony in this piece, and the ‘Mike Hammer’ vibe. It was very entertaining 🙂
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Thanks – I tend to jump into that “private dick” mode from time to time. Probably because I like those kinds of movies a lot
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Me too 🙂
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Ooh nice 😉
I like mystery and this was very intriguing 🙂
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It was very short. Glad you found it to your taste though!
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Nice spin on the Sam Spade potboiler – fun to read.
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Thanks – glad you liked it.
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Great play. It was very well written and a good read. When you read good things like this, it makes me sad that the prompts only allow 750 words.
God bless you,
Cheryl
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🙂
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Ha,ha,ha… Humphrey Bogart and myself loved it!
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Thanks so much.
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Fabulous!! Definitely not apparent that it was your first shot and I honestly think you managed fabulous character development and scene setting within the word limit. As I was reading it, in fact, I kept thinking “this must be over 750 words!” It certainly pays to go out on a limb 🙂
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Thank you for encouraging me to continue to take risks. Expect to see me fall on my face in the near future but, I’ll have fun doing it!
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It’s fantastique ! I would never have known you hadn’t written a bunch of these. I love that he sets the bird “next to his broken heart.” ❤
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Merci Jetgirl.
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What a fantastic take on the prompt! I love that you did it as a screenplay – and that you told the story so well in that format. Nicely done! 🙂
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And I learned something to boot! I win already.
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Nice job creating an intriguing script and developing your main character within a very small word limit. Less is always more in the world of screenplays. 😉
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Darnit, I thought my comment went through last night…
Again, this was fantastic! I could see every single shot playing out in my head.
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Dark and funny. I would see this movie! Don’t stop taking chances, Tnkerr!
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Now I’ll always wonder who Fat Man was….oh, the mysteries of life. 🙂
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